Monthly Archives: April 2017

Tim Marquitz Reviews his novel WAR GOD RISING

Gleetings and salubriations!

We return today with the latest in the WRITERS REVIEWING THEIR OWN BOOKS series. Tim Marquitz is here to review his novel WAR GOD RISING. And in a strange turn of events he appears to actually be doing it himself!

 

TIM MARQUITZ REVIEWS WAR GOD RISING

So, I opened War God Rising, and the first thing I noticed were the words. They were awful, and I’m pretty sure they were in the wrong order.

But like any train wreck, I had rubberneck or I’d miss out on the opportunity to piss off the folks behind me who have better things to do. And after reading this trash, I could sympathize. I mean, seriously, who the hell writes a book about a guy who buggers sheep? Allegedly, or so the author insists. Yeah, buddy, tell it to the judge.

Anyway, flagrant sheep love aside, I’m fairly certain the author of War God Rising thought he was creating a puzzle rather than writing a novel. The book’s one big jumble, all the pieces scattered everywhere, and I’m almost positive there are a handful missing. I won’t even mention the fact that the image is drawn in crayon, which is, admittedly, still a few notches better than the cover art. This is the 21st century, Marquitz. Nudity doesn’t sell books anymore.

Oh, did I mention this is supposed to be a comedy? I think someone mislabeled it. The only laugh involved was the awkward chuckle of the clerk when I paid for it. I’m certain I saw Amy Schumer walking by, shaking her head as I bought the thing.

Still, the book has some redeeming qualities. The pages were nice and soft and hardly left any paper cuts, which I learned when my mom forgot to pick up toilet paper last week. And the pages burn nicely, the ink giving off a pleasant, carcinogenic scent that mostly covered the smell from the aforementioned restroom adventure.

So, yeah, if you’re desperate for a book that holds up to a good wiping and might be useful if you’re having trouble outing yourself as one of those fantasy readers, War God Rising is likely the 11th or 12th book in the list that you’d want to pick up. Maybe 13th.

If ever there was a pity purchase, this is it.

 

Web Site: http://www.tmarquitz.com/

Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/War-God-Rising-Tim-Marquitz-ebook/dp/B01B1SL422

War God Rising Cover Copy:

Monty Python meets Gladiator!

Sand is destined for greatness. Or so a pair of two-bit criminals would have him believe.

After rescuing him from certain doom, Bess and Kaede embark on a scheme to game the War God Tournament. It’d be easier if Sand wasn’t an alcohol-soaked twit with a disturbing interest in mutton.

Pitted against monsters, magic swords, and murderers galore, they soon realize winning the tourney is the least of their worries.

BURN OUT

It’s better to burn out than fade away.

I burned out.

After Beyond Redemption sold to Harper Voyager I threw myself at writing. I wrote Swarm and Steel first. I needed a break from the characters of BR but still wanted to play in that world. With the first draft of that finished, I figured I should probably write the sequel to Beyond Redemption because, duh, look at all those amazing reviews! Of course Harper Voyager will want more! And so, with S&S still is pretty rough shape, I wrote The Mirror’s Truth.

As Y’all know by now HV passed on TMT, saying that sales didn’t warrant investing in a sequel. Cameron, my agent, shopped it around. Unfortunately publishers aren’t much interested in buying the sequel to a book held by another publisher. I was faced with a choice: Shelf the book in the hopes that someday BR would sell enough someone would want the sequel (it still hasn’t) or publish it myself. Seeing as it’s out there and all self-published and stuff, I figure you know what I chose. Patience was never my strength.

Rather than focus on what might well have been the catastrophic failure of my dreams, I focused on editing The Mirror’s Truth.

There are authors who write great first drafts. Mark Lawrence is one of those. We won’t hate him for being talented, though he does offer another explanation here, which I found interesting. I read that and had a moment of Why couldn’t I have been born dyslexic! Then I smacked myself for being a twit. Anyway, the point of that aside is that I am not one of those authors. My first drafts are puke-inducing. I do a lot of editing, and a lot of rewriting. By the time a perspective publisher sees a novel, there’s not usually much to do…except fix a billion typos, correct mangled grammar, add comas where I ignored them, delete comas where I went nuts, and cull about 98% of my semicolons.

I can write a book in three or four months, if given enough alone time. That book will need at least as much editing before it’s ready for beta-readers. Oh Lordy pity my alpha-reader. That dude sees first drafts of everything and somehow hasn’t plucked his eyes from his skull. The point is, I spend a lot of time editing my stuff. Really a lot.

I was somewhere in the middle of editing TMT when the folks at Skyhorse/Nightshade Books/Talos bought Swarm and Steel. As I recall, they purchased it based on my synopsis (insane rambling), blurb (excited insane rambling), and the first chapter which I’d edited before we sent it out. The rest of the book was a disaster. I promptly changed gears and dove into editing that beast instead. It went through many iterations. Each time I thought it was ready I sent it to Cameron. She picked it apart, asked difficult questions (the best was “what does this character really want? which triggered massive changes once I understood that character’s motivation), and sent it back.

The day we submitted the finished manuscript to Talos, I returned to editing The Mirror’s Truth. Somewhere in there the rights to my first novel, 88, were reverted to me by the awesome folks at Five Rivers Publishing. The day I uploaded the final manuscript for TMT to Amazon and Createspace, I began work on editing and rewriting 88. I recently released the reworked 88 as Ghosts of Tomorrow.

Here ends what amounts to damned near a year of editing. I wrote no new original fiction in that time with the exception of a single short story, The Broken Dead, for the Evil is a Matter of Perspective anthology.

Did I take a breather?

No.

I uploaded the final Ghosts of Tomorrow files on February 24th, 2017. The next day I began work on a new book. We’ll call this CoS:LBiS for now because I’m not ready to share the name. I finished the first draft of that novel in early April. It took about two and a half months to write. I hand wrote this one–something new for me. I’m still in the process of transcribing it onto the computer. It, like all my first drafts, is a vomitous stain.

The day after I finished CoS:LBiS I tried to write a short story for Grimdark Magazine. After a week and three attempts, I gave up. Then I decided to start work on the sequel to Ghosts of Tomorrow. I have now written the first chapter three times. They all stink.

Ah. And here is where we came in.

I’m burned out.

I need to stop for a while.

The other day someone on facebook mentioned that Justin Trudeau, the Canadian Prime Minister, reads big door-stopper genre fiction. I had this moment of anger. How the hell can the goddamn Prime Minister have time to read but I can’t?

I realized I was the problem.

I am two or three books behind on all my favourite authors. I haven’t even read Wheel of Osheim yet! Just let that sink in.

A couple of days ago I picked up the ARC of Brian Staveley’s Skullsworn. I only had a few minutes of reading time. It’s so good. So very, very good. Reading made me happy again, took me away. Yesterday I stole a few more minutes of reading. More happy.

I know what I have to do.

I’m going to read a book. Maybe two. During that time I shall make no attempt at writing.

Once I feel like a reader again, I shall return to writing. I need this.

Burn out is no fun and I’d rather not fade away.

This post is likely rife with errors as I can not be bothered to edit it.

Derek Alan Siddoway reviews INTO EXILE

Welcome to the latest post in the AUTHORS REVIEWING THEIR OWN BOOKS series!

Today we have Derek Alan Siddoway, the mastermind behind the Undaunted Author and Everyday Author sites (links below) reviewing…wait. Nope! It seems some of his characters have snuck in. Apparently, instead of reviewing the book, they’ve called some kind of press-release.

Best read on…

INTO EXILE

Herald: Introducing his majesty, High King Arund, the White Knight, the Scourge of the Highlanders, the Sword of Skaldain!

People gather in a crowd below the platform within the ransacked city of Athelon. There are bloodstains on the stone and smoke still rises from some of the upper terraces, where, judging by the raucous sounds of yelling and screaming, looting is still well underway. Arund the White Knight, of late, the self-styled High King of all Peldrin takes the stand.

Arund: Thank you, everyone, for coming. What a great day. What a momentous day in the history of our country. I never doubted it. I crushed the rebellion and united all of Peldrin. Where are the naysayers now? So, who’s got questions? I’ve got answers, great answers.

Skald: General Arund —

Arund: High King now, actually. In case you hadn’t heard — I won!

Skald: *Clears throat* Umm, yes. High King Arund. While your “March across Peldrin” was a success on parchment, you’ve left a bloody swathe in your wake. Thousands are dead — mostly the common folk who supported your cause. Tens of thousands more are homeless, injured or starving. And now, you’ve conquered Athelon, the last bastion of resistance, but only after weeks of siege that drained untold amounts of gold from the Republic’s coffers. What is your message to the peasantry?

Arund: My message is the same as it’s always been. I’ve never changed. I said I was going to make Peldrin great again. Now it’s great. Just like I said. When people get in the way of progress that’s what happens. But now we can rebuild. We’ll be bigger and better than ever. We’ve already brought thousands of jobs back to honest, hardworking swordsmiths, armorers and siege engineers everywhere.

Second Skald: Wasn’t Peldrin already pretty great? I mean we had a Republic that built roads, fostered trade and —

Arund: Sure, that’s what they want you to believe. Trust me, it wasn’t great. I was on the inside. I saw things. I know things about the former Republic that would make your skin crawl. Peldrin was a disaster.

Second Skald: Wasn’t the goal of your campaign to unite Peldrin? It seems like a death march across half the land, culminating in a dreadful siege that was only ended by killing one of your oldest and closest friends is pretty…dividing.

Arund: Look, nobody wanted to kill Mathyew less than me. Trust me. Nobody liked Mathyew more than me. The Lord of Athel was like a brother to me. We were so close you can’t even imagine. But there’s one thing you can’t do. You can’t stand between the White Knight and victory. You just can’t. It’s not going to end well for you if you do. I’ve never been defeated.

Second Skald: But what about that battle against the Highland Confederation back in —

Arund: Next question, please.

Third Skald: We’ve heard reports that your troops were massacring refugees and survivors who fled Athelon to the surrounding beaches. The reports also indicated that Lady Guinevere, her young son Revan and her handmaiden, Reginleif were on the beaches.

Arund: Look, I’m in the business of peace, not killing women and children.

First Skald: *Points across the courtyard* Isn’t that a dead woman over there?

Arund: I’ve said it all along, we’re going to be so tough on rebels. Trust me, no one has ever been tougher on rebels than me and no one will continue to be tougher on rebels than me. If any man, woman or child raises a sword against me, we’re going to have to take action. It’s the only way to keep our borders safe.

Third Skald: Yes, but where are Lady Guinevere, Revan and her handmaiden now?

Arund: I’ve got trained professionals out looking for the Lady of Athel right now. Our number one priority is finding her and ensuring she’s safe. Nobody is more worried about Guinevere and little Revan than me, trust me. I consider them family.

Second Skald: This seems to conflict an account we’ve received that your “trained professionals” pursued Lady Guinevere into the wilderness of Athel. They were led by Captain Theron Fitch, a man known for his brutality. According to the report, Fitch then conspired with local Sylvad hunters — sworn enemies of the Athelings, I might add — to aid in the capture of Lady Guinevere.

Arund: That’s completely ridiculous. False information. Never happened.

First Skald: It’s all right here in a book: Into Exile by one Derek Alan Siddoway.

Arund: Look, I don’t know where this book came from, but it’s clearly biased against my campaign to unite all Peldrin under my banner. Someone is just jealous that my victory was so complete and absolute that they’re spreading these lies. Don’t be fooled, people. The Council War was the most definitive victory in the history of all Peldrin. If Lady Guinevere doesn’t want to bow to me, she’s on her own.

Third Skald: But you just said that finding Lady Guinevere and her son and ensuring their safety was your number one —

Arund: *Waves hand* Look, this public address is over. I don’t need to deal with this right now. I’ve got a country to make great again! Anything in that book by that Siddoway man is completely untrue. Not a single fact in there. I’ve read the whole thing. Bunch of fabricated lies, trust me. Anyone who reads that is a stars-damned imbecile and is guilty of treason. The first

thing I’m coming to do when I get back to the capital is decree every copy of this “Into Exile” is burned.

Second Skald: *sighs*

 

Into Exile – Official Synopsis:

Widowed. Hunted. Exiled. From the ashes of destruction, a saga begins.

When her country is conquered and her lord husband slain by his best friend, Guinevere, Lady of Athel, has only one thing left to live for: her young son Revan. Forsaking vengeance to honor her husband’s last wish, Guinevere flees with Revan — the last heir of the Teutevar line. Exile, however, will not come easy. Pursued by ruthless invaders and a wilderness full of bloodthirsty savages, Guinevere’s only allies are a loyal spearmaiden and a deranged mountain man. The Lady of Athel may not fear death, but should she fail, Athel’s last hope falls with her.

Into Exile is a introductory prequel that takes place before the events of Out of Exile in the world of Teutevar Saga. Fans of Joe Abercrombie’s Red Country and Miles Cameron’s Traitor Son Cycle will enjoy the Teutevar Saga and its unique blend of traditional medieval fantasy in a gritty, American Western landscape.

For a limited time, get Into Exile FREE at all major ebook sellers: https://books2read.com/u/mvYjaJ

For more shenanigans check out Derek in the following places:

@D_Sidd (Twitter)

http://derekalansiddoway.com

http://bookreview22.com/

http://everydayauthor.com

http://undauntedauthors.com